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How does one maximize their bottoming skills?
Practice is important, of course, but what are some tricks I can do right from the get-go? I figure I should prepare myself as I might be hooking up with someone in the next week or two.
I'm gonna sticky this because the world needs more good bottoms. Advise away, gents.
Try moving your hips against his thrusts to deepen the penetration or something.
I would love it if every guy was versatile. Have you ever gone to hook up with someone who says they're versatile but then you get there and you're like "ok, can I top now?" and they're like "well I'm not really much of a bottom" or "I don't really do that so..."
Practice does make perfect but so does the right lube. And also knowing what rhythm works best for you. I don't like for the guy to pound away like I'm not a person because it overwhelms my asshole but then I don't think many guys like this in general. The only exception is when the guy just has good topping skills (e.g. he naturally just knows how to move his body and guide his dick and read the bottom's body language) in which case if he knows what he's doing he's free to fuck me however he likes. But for each guy it's different. Some guys don't like for the top to pull all the way out and then go back all the way in, they like for the top to stay in and do short thrusts. As well, some tops don't like to pull all the way out or don't like short thrusts. So you just have to sort of jump in and make it work. Sometimes there's a little compromising that must happen before you're both enjoying yourselves.
we don't need more stickies.
Im versatile and love it up the butt, but I often have a problem with brown on the dong. I douche with warm water before hand, but it seems like all that does is give me diahreea, and then I'm spending the next 20 minutes in the bathroom rinsing myself out and trying to stop the wrenching stomach aches. Can any /fag/ help me?
If you've pooped earlier that day and rinse out a few times before having sex, there's no reason you should have a mess.
Personally, I just put some water in one of those fleet enema bottles and rinse out, and then hop in the shower and use a soapy finger. That's probably over-doing it, but I'm really anal (see what I did there?) about cleanliness.
As for OP's question, the only advice I have is to go slowly, use fingers first, and use lots of lube. If you have a top that's impatient, it's probably going to hurt.
love mod for sticky!!!!
Much interest. I'm not terribly experienced in general, but have never bottomed before. Topped a few times, but my tastes are changing and I want to be fucked silly by the guy I recently started seeing. My topping experience has only really come down to one night stands and I'm not really in the situation to ask them "how do I make my ass awesome". What are some really basic considerations? Is it a good idea to get a dildo?
Sorry for the noobishness, I just didn't want to make a new thread but will be using all of the more seasoned advice as well.
I too am interested in this. Psychologically I'm a total bottom, and when I fap I think about my boyfriend fucking me. But when he actually does fuck me, it hurts, I can't get turned on and it honky-tonk heterosexual up doesn't feel good. He goes slow and shit too ughhh why does this seem to work so well for everyone else?
Here are a few things to remember when you are bottoming:
First and foremost, shit happens. If you are embarrassed about the possibility of having a little mess, then you should just stick to oral sex. Focusing too much of your energy on whether or not you are properly clean/shit-free while you are getting fucked will make it NOT FUN. I have never used an enema, but I have bottomed countless times. Sometimes it gets messy, 95% of the time it's fine. I also don't eat food that makes me shit liquid, and I don't let someone fuck me if I feel shit inside of my bowel.
Regarding the pain:
Practice. Practice. Practice. Finger yourself in the shower. Finger yourself in your bedroom. Finger yourself in the morning, noon, and at night. Find your g-spot and jerk off while you finger fuck your prostate.
Most people know this, but just start with one finger, then two, and then start sticking things up your butt if you want. Don't use anything dangerous (I am thinking about that video where the fat dude sticks a jar up his ass and probs dies because of it. Don't do that). Gradually you will get used to two things: 1) Your butt is very accommodating 2) It feels really good
Also, when it comes time to take a huge dick remember to BREATH when it is going deeper into you (assuming you have already fingered yourself and your partner has joined in). Take a deep breath, and let him push in more. If it hurts don't hesitate to tell him to slow the fuck down and wait for the pain to go away for a second. Take deep breaths, and remember to think about how fucking amazing it feels to have a dick pounding you. If you focus on the fact that it hurts, it will only hurt, if you let the pain just be a minor inconvenience then, at least in my experience, it goes away.
BREATH IN DEEP, and then BREATH OUT and let it relax your ass hole.
Anymore questions? I have links to sites that have more extensive explanations, if you are interested.
I've gotten fucked by more than a few guy that ranged from average small (less than 3 inches and dear god that was a dull experience) to large (over a foot and at least 6 inches in circumference).
No matter the size, it hurts a bit at first as you get yourself adjusted. The key though is always relax. A problem you can run into at first when trying to bottom is, that you don't know how to relax. A lot of guys thinking they're relaxing are really just relaxing every part of themselves except that inner sphincter (versus outer; there are two) and then experiencing pain that their partner picks up on which makes them slow down, when really the whole thing isn't gonna be enjoyable until the guy picks up a bit in speed. As having something sit inside you will just make you feel like you need to pee, versus getting rubbed inside which makes you feel like you're being masturbated from the inside.
Links would be cool. Also, how do I find my g-spot? Just explore?
Also when a guy is actually inside you, it isn't gonna be as enjoyable for them if you're just as loose as can be. So you can tighten up around them a little as they're rocking back and forth to help them along a bit (or if you're just wanting to go to bed already by getting him off early).
Thinking about it, the best metaphor for the pain when getting fucked is a bandaid. Tearing it off slowly can hurt quite a bit, so you want to get it over with by getting into full swing. If you're relaxed and he just goes right into pounding nicely (and isn't hung like an elf) then it should feel nice enough to make you not think about the pain (which subsides). So the usual advice about asking your partner to slow down if it hurts usually seems like bullshit to me since you're then just prolonging the most unpleasant part of the night.
Another thing, try doing squats with a bit of weight as a general daily exercise. A lot of guys hate fucking a flat ass, especially if they're a bigger guy. Since bigger guys like to go in and out a lot more than smaller guys. So if you're into getting into bed with some bigger guys, it seems worth making their night a bit nicer by giving them a nicer ass to fuck. At least from what I've been told, they generally like it when you are rocking back and forth with them, and doing some squats will give you the strength in the right areas to help with doing just that.
lol 12+ inches/6 inch diameter. Were you fucking a horse?
Sometimes its good to just get the pain over with, but for people who want advice (aka are beginners), then they should probably learn how to get over the pain and make it more tolerable as opposed to more quick/intense.
Also, it's worth noting that that pain is your asshole stretching parallel to the structure of the inner wall of the bowel. These are how tears occur, and this is how you can get extremely sore the next day. Tears are bad because they just love getting filled with STDs and HIV.
>lol 12+ inches/6 inch diameter. Were you fucking a horse?
No, just one of those fabled black guys that ends up being super hung. Ending up sucking on it for at least 30 minutes before getting down to business so the memory of it has stuck with me.
>trying to stop the wrenching stomach aches
ME TOO! Whenever I have tried to douche myself, I always end up with TERRIBLE cramping/aches.
Can /fag/ help us?
Long story short, you are probably just using way too much water. You need half a cup at the most, enough to rinse out the rectum; there's no need to wash out your entire colon. Warm/cold water doesn't make a difference, and it doesn't have to be soapy. Shooting chemicals up your insides is another way to cause severe irritation.
Lube + Dildos = Fun Practice Time!
Mmm thanks for some tips...
I have been wanting to bottom for my BF for a while now...again...but the last time I did it, which was a while, it got to a point say 30 mins later he was not able to cum and I think the lube was running dry lots of friction... felt ok at the time...
But then the next day I did my poop and noticed some blood and freaked the fuck out...
Now that has been in the back of my mind for a while...
We recently tried some silicone lube and that seems to work better...
Some lubes tend to give me a burning sensation.... Sigh :(
The lubes that are giving you the burning sensation are glycerin-based. Some people just have an intolerance to them. To overcome this I recommend Maximus or the Durex brand if in the UK. Good luck.
I personally recommend this. Fucking fantastic lube, never found anything that beats it.
It doesn't contain glycerin, it stays the same consistency for a long ass time, and you really don't need much of it. It's safe for use with toys too.
Bleeding is, well, not -normal- per se but isn't abnormal either. Obviously the digestive system is intended to be one way and here's a foreign object entering and thrusting hard inside it; there's bound to be some lining tearing now and again. I've noticed blood in my stools maybe twice ever after anal sex, and this is twelve years of being sexually active. Don't worry. Make sure you use a condom though, especially now you have a tear there. It should heal itself in time but if you keep noticing blood after a couple of days, tell your GP.
I recommend Gun Oil for decent lube.
As for the cleanliness debate, shit happens! Occasionally you can pull out and the condom will be covered in faeces which you just have to get over. If you're clean, you usually won't see anything when you pull out / a tiny minimal amount. It's a bodily function, it has to occur.
Please no laughing, but the last time I did it, I used around 500 mL.
So 125... then what? I mean once I get the water in there, what do i do? >.>
Awkward turtle, I know, but I have no experience here.
shake your booty and then push it out (?)
yes, put the water in and then out.
what kinds of foods should a bottom eat?
Fruits, grains, fiber supplements. Although usually just eating healthy will do. Most of those food pyramid things are a pretty decent guide to go by.
I find that smoking weed helps me pass more out when I poo (not clinically proven and taken only out of my own observation). Go easy on the alcohol.
> Go easy on the alcohol.why?
even beyond the cleaning-out aspect, someone new shouldn't be too heavy on the alcohol. pain is pretty important and if you aren't as aware of when it hurts you could do some damage.
If you need alcohol or any other drug youre doing it wrong lol
For me a bit of Blood afterwards has been pretty much the norm.... usually no pain though, or it goes after a day or so at worst.
Is this normal?
maybe youre too tight o rhes too big or both, more patience and lube should work ^^
maybe youre too tight or hes too big or both, more patience and lube should work
I second the double posting fag above me. Moar lube. Make sure he is stretching you enough before, too.
I'm a top, but I do believe alot of the stigma towards bottoming has to do with the issue of pain and discomfort. I think many might view it as a chore or that they're sacrificing their pleasure for their partners. As much of a hardcore top as I am I know that getting fucked in the ass feels amazing if you do it right. I make sure my bottoms are pleased and that their comfortable. Sadly I think many bottoms are missing out on it because of a lack of knowledge. There should be some sort of a "bottoms rights" group that spreads awareness about proper anal penetration.
>yfw bottoms are more common than tops
Make sure you have a good day at work
>Make sure you have a good day at work
>or have a bad day to tighten up the whole experience
I have a related problem, but one nobody else has brought up. I don't have any problem with width at all, things can get in there just fine. For me, it's a problem with length, it's like it eventually just hits a wall and it ain't gonna go any deeper! It's pretty deep too, they can get in okay but can't really do any of the thrusting action that makes it, well, fucking.
i don't have time to read through and see if anyone else has mentioned it:
drink lots of water during the way. you should do this anyway, but esp if you think you might be getting fucked that day. it helps you to shit a little easier and i feel like the lube is more effective if i'm not dehydrated.
I know we should always use condoms when being penetrated. I'm meeting a guy from my college to finally hook up; should I make him wear a condom when I blow him?
If you like the taste of condom.
, not upset at all.jpg
Now I really want to suck a dick
But it's not a necessity? Next to no STD risk, right?
I may try one of those flavored condoms. They look delicious.
There are several STDs that can be transmitted via oral (Link from CDC about oral: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/oralsex.htm)
Condoms aren't used very often though, and if you do it the guy might be a bit offended, so be ready for that and use your best judgment...
Hey, if this is developed to detect AIDS, in time it could prob be made into a not very expensive Over-the-counter test you could buy and check partners with. Not that it would fully eliminate risks, as I am sure some would go undetected, and people would be ass-hats and spoof it to convince people they are clean. Also, there are plenty of other STDs. Eliminating fear from AIDS would lead to more rampant sex, spreading other STDs further. This happened when AIDS drugs were created; a huge spike in other diseases occured in the MSM (Men having Sex with Men) community since "Oh it isn't so bad now. It isn't a problem." YOU ARE SPREADING SO MUCH DISEASE YOU GODDAMN WHORES.
OK. This is now a bad idea.
I've always topped, but lately I have really wanted to get fucked.
Invaluable thread, /fag/
yeah we're probably 10 years out from all in one on site std tests. at which point I will be an old 20s something guy with hiv already :(
You're either extremely bad at math, or an underage B&. Possibly both if you're in an American high school.
STILL IN TWENTIES
Someone who is 18 is not going to refer to their 20's as when they are going to be "old".
Everyone knows 18 is old.
All this advice is sound, but no one has mentioned the trick where you push as if you were shitting and you loosen up immediately. Make sure you're 100% cleaned out or you WILL shit.
Also PROTIP don't practice with a huge dildo or you'll be too loose. Fucking someone who is too loose is horrible.
That'll help you loosen enough to let someone in, but it won't help you loosen so that you don't feel pain period.
I still feel like people wanting to bottom for some big boys should just let them start humping a bit faster earlier on so that the pleasure offsets the pain.
after hearing this, I'd like to ask if there's anything I can do to a, well... overworked anus? My fear is that it's gonna feel like a huge cavern.
You can always just squeeze those muscles up a bit. Basically kegal exercises (or however you spell it), you just tighten up that anus and relax, tighten and relax, tighten and relax, and so on.
A lot of guys actually enjoy fucking someone a bit loose so you know. Fucking a guy that is too tight can probably seem annoying since you can barely even get into them. If you feel like you're a bit too loose it isn't as though you can't tighten up a bit while they're still in you.
Yup, this. Also, once you gain more conscious control over your anal muscles, you can selectively tighten in time with each thrust in. They'll love it.
Actually, I heard you were supposed to relax while top is on the way in, and tighten when they are going out. Otherwise you are making them work against you, thus lowering the pleasure for your top. Is that wrong?
, tim and eric universe.gif
just so you know
my asshole is exPLOding with pleasure right now
>you are making them work against you
The pressure against them is what feels good.
I doubt you could close up your ass so hard as to push a dick out that was already inside you, so you probably wouldn't be hurting them.
I think it's more about hurting yourself. If you're a beginner, what he said is probably a good idea. After a while, you will get a feel for it, and won't have to think about it anymore.
when my partner pushes deeply in it feels like hes hitting a dead end and the pressure hurts
happens to me too..
, pillow biting.jpg
practice makes perfect
Yeah I also get that. With me, whether it's a dick or somethin else, it always gets to a point where it feels like they're just hitting a brick wall and if it goes any further, the pain is soooo bad. I've obviously tried a few times to just ignore the pain and push it in further but I can't...
Practice Kegels, they are invaluable. The practiced ability to tense and loosen your anal sphincter gives you a degree of comfort when receiving, and gives your top a degree of pleasure when he penetrates. buck your hips into him when he thrusts, and alternate periods of tightening and loosening (IE six thrusts tights, three looser)
If your top is longer and thicker, you may feel an obstruction when he goes in deep; this is the end of your rectum, the sphinter between your intestines and anus. DO NOT LET HIM THRUST INTO THIS!
this sphincer takes practice to open up, and without opening it up this fragile ring of muscle will tear, making internal hemorrhaging, leading to infection. however, with Kegel practices, you can make your anus feel deeper and tighter, giving your top the pleasure he needs to NOT pound this sensitive area.
Lube: try Boy butter. its thick and cream based, so it stays nice and slick for hours. other water-based lubes are good, but you need to re-moisturize them periodically, using a spray bottle or such.
Pretty much this. The sigmoid colon is about 6-8 inches in, depending on the person, and it takes training to get past it. If you need to be able to take a long dick to the balls, then start out with a long, thin dildo and slowly work your way up in size.
As for lube, I can second Boy Butter. It's awesome stuff, you don't need too much, it lasts nicely, and it cleans up easily. The original stuff is NOT latex safe, but they make a water-based one that is. Another one I will recommend is Pjur Eros power cream. It's a silicone-water mix cream, it's condom safe, and it works very well.
and remember as a bottom dont just lay there and take it like a bitch, actively join in. Fucking isnt as fun when your humping a moist hole than when that moist hole pushes you down and rides your dick like your the one on the bottom
I was just wondering if anyone here could say something on the rather unpleasant topic of haemorrhoids. Obviously those are a problem when you want to be a bottom as they not only look very ugly but also make sex more painful and dangerous.
Any advice on how to prevent or treat them?
First of all, realize that it's a total myth that they are caused by anal sex. Hemherroids result from straining to push OUT, not pushing something IN.
Anyway, I've seen evidence showing that sitting during a bowel movement makes things much more difficult due to the awkward position. Changing to a more natural squatting position, in some cases, has resulted in relief of symptoms from some cases I've read about. Short of surgery, it's something you can try for a few weeks and see if it gets any better. There's nothing to be lost from giving it a shot, anyway.
I agree. I squat on the toilet. It's easy to do and always comes out clean for me anyway.
true true. Squatting is much more healthy when pooping and cuts down on hemmorhoids and diverticular disease often associated with sitting.
O-O makes me wanna go try it.
Been doing it for the last few days, lets see if we'll see any improvement.
Now I've never been a fan of bottoming. I'm a fan of the idea, but when it actually happens, its all just pain to me; I also do a pretty good job topping. I'd rather be versatile though.
I know it becomes easier with practice and what not, but every time I try, I end up with hemorrhoids out the wazoo (get it?) that don't go away for weeks. How am I supposed to practice and get better at it, when I need to take such long breaks in between bottoming sessions. Also, the occasional boyfriend that wants to top me doesn't like waiting for me to heal up and get the urge to bottom.
The fuck? Are you bottoming with no lube?
You probably have hemherroids already, and the anal sex just makes them much worse to the point where you actually notice it. Try eating more fiber and using a squatting position on the toilet for a couple weeks, and see if it gets any better.
Oh, and use lots of lube and loosen yourself up with fingers/dildo before the fucking.
I find that eating heavy fiber foods a day or so before sex helps with the whole "getting the shit fucked out of you" scenario. Also the day it happens is gonna play hell with your stomach if you're REALLY looking forward to it, so you might try taking some digestive enzymes to calm your stomach down.
Also, don't eat a lot the day its going to happen. This helps minimize the "please stop i hafta poo" during sex.
An suggestions on high fiber food? I often hear this and that is supposedly high fiber stuff, but I'm more confused by these recommendations, so I'd like to hear what people who really put them work have to say.
If I don't come, does it make me look like a blaming breeder?
And is it ok to feel more fulfilled by his cumming than mine?
Broccoli is a great high-fiber, low-calorie source. Cook it right, and it tastes good.
so... last time i got fucked i had absolutely no feeling of shit in the rectum. then halfway through i feel it coming and i start clenching like shit and hop off him, running to the bathroom. liquid feces start pouring out (i eat well and drink lots of water, haven't had the shits like that in a except for basically that). any advice to avoid this?
oh and ps. i'm mentally way into bottoming, but physically i find it sucks. it feels like i have to piss, shit, and have blue balls all at the same time. essentially i tense up a bit (sorry can't help it) and lay there til it's over... i don't want to give up on anal forever but currently i just am not a fan.
pps. bleeding is fine, you just got an anal fissure. don't squeeze so tight (push out!) and go easy on the white bread/cheese/meat for a while til you heal.
Stress can cause abnormally premature/accelerated bowel movement by activating the sympathetic nervous system, generally tightening muscles throughout the body (including those controlling bowel movement). Your negative physical reaction to bottoming probably precipitated the incident.
That said, if that's really what's happening, you just need to get past your stressed reaction, which is probably part physical and part mental. Have you bottomed much before? It sounds like you're relatively new to bottoming; if that's the case, you should feel more relaxed toward it with more experience. Just take it easy and don't rush yourself.
I find it sad there's so much anxiety and stress about bottoming :/
That said, thanks for this thread. Twas much needed.
How long would you suggest to be in a monogamous relationship with a guy before making the shift from condom to barebacking?
As long as it takes for the STD results to come in the mail.
Ok, I have a question. I topped a guy last week, and as we were getting into it, I smelled shit. It was a real turn off, but I was like, fine, I've already gone this far, and I have a condom on at least. I got him off, and jacked myself off after.
This was a "spa" (rundown ass place, but anyway) so later I hooked up with another guy who also wanted to bottom. I was a little spent b/c the "rooms" there were half the size of my bathroom with like this vinyl bench thing, and my legs were weak from being so cramped. Plus I was having like flashbacks to stankbooty, and it just killed my hard on, so we went to j/o.
Is it normal for it to smell bad when you top a guy, or is it just that he really should have taken a dump before he came to the spa and eaten high fiber foods and shit.
Because I'm sensitive about smells, and if it's going to smell like that more often than not, that isn't going to work for me. The first guy I topped didn't smell, so I figure the guy was just careless. Thoughts?
To those who have fecal incidents or anxieties, how about an enema / anal douche? In certain circles, there's a lot of preachy disapprobation directed toward the practice, but I find the downsides greatly exaggerated. I think it's one of those memes (in the original sense) that people just parrot because they've heard it and it sounds insightful and pragmatic.
The concerns can be boiled down to possibility for dependency, which only occurs with habitual use or use to facilitate movements, and dryness due to washing away "natural secretions" which is an erroneous translation of a valid argument against vaginal douching.
To me, it's worth the slight inconvenience and minimal risk for the additional cleanliness. I know some people consider such a concern a "hang-up" and something to be overcome, but who's to dictate to me what aesthetic concerns are important to my own arousal? Let's be very frank and honest. Shit is a disgusting, repellent substance. I do not want it to be involved in any of my sexual activities. Washing out empowers me to greatly minimize that possibility.
I think it's obvious that, given what is going on, there is always a possibility of unpleasantness. That said, unless you're especially sensitive to smells (like, if when you're hanging out with friends, you can tell when someone ate onions with their breakfast or something like that), it shouldn't ever be that bad. He was probably just less clean than preferable.
when im nervous, i need to go a lot. sex for the first time = nerves. fuck me with a brick :( :( :(
I am 16... But I need your expertise. As young as I am how can I make my first time special for both me and my partner? I obviously can't go acquire toys or lube without stealing them which I'm against. Should I just wait till I'm older?(USER WAS SENT BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL)(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
I love the smell of underage b& in the morning.
My Rectal Doc told me to "push like you're trying to squeeze one out" when he was doing an exam. Made a world of difference. I've made that suggestion - successfully - to more than one partner!