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>>5349
that is some kind of waveform shark

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>>5678
and that is Unknown Pleasures, the cover of which features this spectrographic recording of radio waves from pulsar CP 1919,

>>4579

I don't know if you'll ever read or even if you are alive but I'll answer. No, you aren't alone. I also like to do stuff like this or better say, I liked to do stuff like this. There's a little trouble now. I live not alone anymore. But yeah... Long ago it was nice to lock up the doors, close the curtains and enjoy just being totally lonely while thinking of present, future and the past.

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It's been about 3 and a half years since she left, I am still unclear on why. I don't even want her back I just want to know why she left.

She will never read this. But sometimes I see her in traffic while I am on my motorcycle. I keep my visor closed and wear an all black racing suit. She will never know that it's me racing by her in the middle of traffic, weaving in and out of cars with no regard for safety. I'm not even sure if she knows I have a motorcycle.

Anyway, I haven't gone a single day without thinking about her since the summer of 2014. Everything in my life has changed because of her, and despite becoming financially successful, and having a career that I once only dreamed of having, nothing really makes me feel good.

I'm tired but I don't think I have the nerve to speak to her. All I can do is ride my motorcycle. Eventually I might work up the courage to write her a letter or something. Until then, I'll park at the local grocery store every Saturday at midnight and smoke a cigarette under the street lamps before continuing to ride aimlessly, and maybe by chance she will see me there.

>>5357
Great story, can relate to all my lost "girl" friends, have had hundreds of them in my life, none of them died that I know of, not yet, but we all pass through that phase at some point. Thinking of the best way to do it, maybe overdose on feel good drugs to die at least an awesome death?

It was a brief period of hope, followed by arguments and then silence. I still wonder what could have been.

>>5565
God is not bound to man-made religion. Sometimes thinking about someone higher than me, feels right; can't really explain.

I do, but only if you're willing to believe will it make you happy

>>5701
>God is not bound to man-made religion
You would have no words to describe the concept if not for man-made religion. If you ask me, the most compelling evidence against the existence of a higher power isn't the complete lack of evidence proving its existence, but the myriad forms man has concocted to represent it over the millenia--each complementing his vanity and exaulting his standing in the universe. Were there any such thing, how could it be even remotely similar to humanity? Why would it favor or disfavor humanity beyond any other thing that exists? It wouldn't. You might as well self-fellate facing Mecca five times a day.

There are an undefinable number of galaxies in the universe. Here on our own planet we have lifeforms that survive in the vaccum of space, thrive on radioactive decay in places too deep for light to have ever reached, and live in extremes of heat, cold, and pressure that would be the norm on a million other worlds.

Life comes in all shapes and sizes, and very likely exists throughout the universe. How concieted are we to come up with gods that look like us and created the universe just for us? How does being sentient on Earth make us the chosen people of some divinity that created a universe infinitely beyond our capacity to explore?

It doesn't. We exist for the same reason any other natural thing does: the right molecules in the right place at the right time and evolution. We happen to be the only sentient species on the planet because we've hunted, domesticated, or otherwise dominated every other species for millenia.

On the other hand, the sheer statistical improbability of it all is amazing. You could even call it beautiful, in that of all the things that could have happened or not happened, this happened. Compound that with the vastness and complexity of the universe, and you begin to see something more than random chance going on. The universe is moving, galaxies are drifing apart and colliding. Dark energy holds it all in a lattice we are just beginning to be capable of obseving. As we proceed to destroy our panet's ecosystem, the consequences make it ever more evident that we are as much part of the whole as any species we've driven to extinction. Our planet is part of a solar system, that solar system plays a minute role in the spinning of our galaxy, our galaxy has its place in its cluster.

Our galaxy and Andromeda will collide, annihilating any trace of a blip once known as mankind (unless we survive long enough to achieve intergalactic travel) billions of years after our sun explodes and destroys our world--and then a new galaxy will form, with new stars and new planets and new people.

To me, it looks as though the universe itself is alive. That we are a part of it as much as a s Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>5647
And your Grandfather sounds like a good man.

Is that a picture of you guys?
If not, can you show us one..? Im not going to do anything with it, its just comforting for me to see /grim/ success...

>>5652
We should always concentrate on the bright side of things because of how our minds are made we already prone to negative thoughts. This means that our minds catch on more easily the bad news than the good news. I am sorry for what you may have experience. I know how hard it is to forgive and forget the bad things that people may have done to you during childhood. I can tell you that things do change and with time things can improve but you have to make a change. Even small changes are important. Little by little, day by day, things can get better. They can also get worse, that's true but we should always hope for the best and fuck all the rest!
Don't even think about the antichrist because it's just a waste of time. We should all read more of the Bible and try to understand it. I believe the best English version is King James version. Get the original wisdom, straight from the source and not using some proxy or some random preacher who just wants our money. We should be deeply thankful just for the fact that we are able to read and write.

>>5695
Yes, it's a picture of us two. I'll look through the pictures to find one where our faces aren't that clear so people online can't identify us.

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me. Stationed in K-town right now. I fucking hate the recycling. The constant rain but no lasting snow is draining. Our company is overstaffed so I don't have a desk and work on my personal laptop at the cafe on base. The autobahn is always under construction so half the time I'm going at like 60kph. I had to leave all my guns back stateside.

>>5577
I hear what you are saying about your friends and family when you talk about the angst and how dear they are to you. I don't want to give you advice about Battle Axes and Armor, because for better or for worse you won't need that advice.

I don't know what any of that is like. Some people in my family do, I've met people like you that I would do anything to speak to again (as much for my own benefit, too. I love Emma.)

I do know that when someone shares that with me, it's more than a feeling I can imagine. It's an act I become involved in, and it connects us. It makes me want to say that I love you. So I'll leave this note hoping you keep sharing these feelings with others who will feel like I do.

Your family is fucked. Completely and totally insane to judge you. It's hard for people like you and me to imagine everyday normal, lucky people feeling justifiably unconfident. It takes years of adulthood to take them down off of their pedestals and realize they never changed or grew up, but for years it's impossible not to operate on the assumption that the world knows you better than you do.

If you force yourself to live, you will get through this. If you give up, you will not. We love you and we don't want to see you on that list, we really don't. If I saw you in a coffee shop I'd assume you were a normal person. I hope you're honest with the people you meet about where your feelings come from. Obviously not as direct, but my point is that the fears we don't talk about blind us to love. Another person's insecurity is greatly relieved by this and they feel strong and powerful knowing how to help. I didn't want to say "people are cowards," because you'll make them better than that. It's a process and you can ALWAYS be part of it.

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My friend Evan. He wasn't the best of friends, but that makes me all the more guilty. We were both in the Army, he commissioned as an officer and was training at Ft. Benning. I always knew there was something wrong, he seemed depressed but I brushed it off. I got a text from another friend saying that he died, it bothered me that there was no other information. I dug deep in the web and stumbled across a reddit thread from others in his class. Turns out he killed himself while at the range.

I felt like I was the only person that could sense that something was off when he was my roommate. He always seemed so happy and cheerful, and never failed to make people laugh. In hindsight I could have done something, but was too caught up in my own battles to help. Many of his "friends" probably don't even know that he's dead, or how it happened.

>>5509
I hate people like that, especially if they were able to get away with it, with just killing someone because of some preventable accident.

I am very sorry for your lost and I hope that you can find happiness in this world. Peace be with you.

>>5665
You can talk about it here, with us, under a mask of anonymity. its nice sometimes to get things off your chest.

would you like to talk about it?

>>5675
I'll come here from time to time and unload.

>>5620
I have exactly the same problem. Every night I stay up until I'm nodding off on my keyboard because tomorrow brings another day of wretched routine.

>>5544
I've come to a point where i find myself smiling when thinking of not waking up anymore i the morning.

many things can make it difficult to fall asleep. not working enough, working too much, being stressed, environment being too hot or too cold, too much noise, too much caffeine or other stimulants.

luckily I have realised that no matter what struggles I go through, I can always rely on a nice Indica smoke to soothe me to sleep.

>>5681
Oh yeah.




Do you know Nihilumbra? Havent played it but i saw some videos and it's pretty close to what we want to achieve.

What is this "Torrente" game about? Isn't that a movie?

>>5682

Yes. It is. But it's much much much MUCH worse than that. Here's a youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jajst67DqtE

>>5683
I don't think it gets to the point we want except for the humor that it claims to have.