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What if. Eeyore 17/03/28(Tue)07:08 No. 5360 ID: 6d4b9c
5360

File 149067773028.jpg - (1.37MB , 3264x1836 , 20170310_233942.jpg )

What if its when you die, you just keep living but in a world when all the things you want to do, you fail to accomplish, for whatever reason it may be. You just start sucking at life. You begin by losing your best friends, one by one, even your gf if you have one. Your parents start to get tired of you and simply stop caring. You do wake up at your bed as usual, you get up, look at yourself in the mirror and you just have this feeling inside you that this day will be exactly like the day before and so on. You go to your job, you get nothing done and your boss gives a fuck about it. You get out, start driving back home thinking that now that you are out and 'free', you could do anything. You end up going home, alone again, trying to get a hold of yourself and play those 3 o 4 chords you know with the guitar. You play the only song you learned, you put the guitar back in its place and you check your phone to see some notification or anything whatsoever. Nothing, just a Porn video o some political nonsense meme from your whatsapp's work group. You lay on the couch looking at the roof. You ate during the day but never felt hungry. You drink water and maybe sometimes its a refreshing feeling. Maybe you score some weed and you feel free of thought for a few hours. Or you drink half a whiskey bottle to get a bit of sleep, because you never get sleepy, just very tired. You never get sick nor hurt. You feel nothing.

Im 26. This is my life now. Im not and antisocial person, Im not autistic, Im not shy,I've become independant from my parents when I was 21, Bought a car, a flat, and I can afford pretty much whatever I want. Had gf's and never had problem to talk to women and flirt with them. When I was younger the only thing I wanted was to be able to be indepedant as exactly as I am now. I gave up relationships, sleep, time and swallowed all the sadness and anger I felt just to do it, and now, after one suicide attempt with my car five years ago, I really think I died and this is my lesson...


>>
Anon!moNoTOnous 17/04/01(Sat)23:32 No. 5373 ID: 1a9107

Sometimes, I crawl out of my shell and watch the news, or read the papers, and I see how fucked up it's out there. Then I look out the window and ponder if perhaps my suicide attempt was actually a success and I'm living in some deranged hellish dimension.
Good to know I'm not the only one.




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