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Death Seeker Eeyore 17/03/28(Tue)22:06 No. 5361 ID: 0c1a2b

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DISCLAIMER... I've posted this elsewhere and didn't get traction. This looks like the right place though.

I'm an Army veteran. Honorable discharge. No combat experience. In my mid 30's.

I have a multi-facet medical issue that the VA doctors will acknowledge in person, but apparently will not create a medical record for outside their own specialty. It's an issue I've been pursuing for over a decade.

I was advised by a VA employee (who asked not to be quoted) that I should get Social Security to validate my compound issue, at which point they can use that as evidence to support my claim.

I just finished a Social Security hearing. My claim was rejected for lack of evidence. Specifically I need medical confirmation of my compound issue.

So I'm stuck in a catch 22.

I haven't worked in 4 years. I've lived off 40% service connection and my fiancee since then.

None of what follows will come to pass if my Social Security appeal works out. If it doesn't I will likely lose my housing, car, fiancee, and dog.

So here are my 2 plans if it doesn't work out. I'd like advice on how to achieve them should the need arise. "Don't do it" isn't what I'm looking for. This being 7chan, I'll add that "Do it" isn't either.


Death Seeker 17/03/28(Tue)22:08 No. 5362 ID: 0c1a2b

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Option 1:

A. Apply for every credit card I can and max them out (won't be much).

B. Sell everything I own.

C. Buy a 1 way plane ticket to someplace I can stage entry into Syria from.

D. Spend every remaining penny on freely available drones with video cameras.

E. Hook up with a group the US Government is cool with, inside or outside the country. The US Government remains my master even if I've been spurned by it.

F. Ask the local commander to place me in the most dangerous location that makes sense. Use the drones for surveillance against ISIS before it collapses.

G. Repeat option F until heroically dead or the war ends.

H. If still alive, find another war in another land.

For this I am poking around for contact info for groups I can join, maybe buddies to come with me, and maybe someone to upload my videos for more general distribution.

Death+Seeker 17/03/28(Tue)22:10 No. 5363 ID: 0c1a2b

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"Option 2" is a bit more extreme so I'll briefly explain. No BAAAWWW, no sob story, just facts as I see them.

A. The US Government is my master. I worked for it repeatedly after the Army and have pledged my allegiance to it multiple times. At one point I had a TS-SCI security clearance.

B. They will no longer employ me. My disability makes me more or less unemployable, so this applies to public sector civilian jobs as well as the military. I am a Ronin.

C. I am disgraced by this SS ruling and the VAs refusal to properly treat or compensate me. So in a left handed way they have called me a liar, and since they took my opiates away saying my pain didn't justify them they have also called me a "Coward". Again, it is my master who accuses me.

Other Veterans are suffering the same thing. I cannot think of another way to make a statement to help them.

Any guess what option #2 is?

Death+Seeker 17/03/28(Tue)22:14 No. 5364 ID: 0c1a2b

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Option 2:

A. Buy a new-style Digi set of BDUs. Get tproper name tags and unit patch.

B. Have my K-Bar sharpened to a razor edge.

C. Find a Kaishuku. Preferably a former officer or fellow NCO.

D. Disembowel myself in the early morning hours, before much security arrives, on the steps of my nearest Federal Building.

For this I need general advice and a (likely remote controlled) Kaishuku, and again, a separate person to explain the matter after the fact to the press.

More on the Kaishuku when (Continued)

I very specifically don't want anyone going to jail for helping me. As such I'm not asking anyone to stand over me with a sword lest I be unable to complete the act.

I'm thinking I can apply a tiny explosive to the area of my carotid artery with tape or, if needed, inside it with a catheter. I can apply it myself as I was trained as a combat lifesaver. This will be wifi enabled (phone hotspot), and controlled by a remote person. My kaishuku. Ideally it would leave a crater in my neck bigger than a golf ball but smaller than a baseball.

I'm familiar enough with explosives that I think I'll be able to figure this out without too much trouble, but if anyone has an existing solution or expertise I'd appreciate it.

My kaishuku will be anonymous and will thus suffer no consequences beyond their own emotional reaction.

I'll also need a spokesperson who will be less complicit, but may be arrested as an accessory after the fact. I doubt a jury will convict you. I'll be videotaping the proceedings with a pair of drones and uploading it.

OK... so... advice or volunteers? I'll provide anonymous contact info if so.

Eeyore 17/03/29(Wed)04:08 No. 5365 ID: bc26ee

Option one is retarded, why would you want to support something that is fucking you in you're time of need and basically crippling you moving forward. Option two is retarded also but there is at least a point behind it, the statement will open Some eyes and you're fiancee may get some money out of it. To be honest option two sounds like a decent deal if you value you're own life so little. What is you're medical condition anyways?

Death+Seeker 17/03/29(Wed)10:32 No. 5367 ID: 0c1a2b

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This is tough to explain without going into a lot of detail. Broadly:

I'm basically incapable of violating an oath.

I took the US oath of allegiance that all military members take on enlistment and reenlistment. It is also taken by everyone from the President down to notaries public.

There is no end date on it. So... having taken it... the US Government is my primary allegiance for life even if it "fucks" me.

(More specifically, I'd say it keeps allegiance through any level of abuse or neglect but not betrayal... case in point: Benedict Arnold was shit on by congress, but we still spit on his memory.)

So I can't fight for someone not approved of, at least in a general way, by the US Government.

So why fight at all? If the final decision is against me I want to die. If I die I want to die either achieving something or trying to do so. My mounting disabilities are rapidly reducing my options for that.

What is achieved by option 2? Google "Kanshi".

As for my medical issues... again, in the interest of avoiding both identifying myself, being (even more) long winded, and BAAAAWWW, I'll say that the width of my medical file is measured in feet rather than inches. One of those issues is vertigo that makes me unable to shoot straight or drive safely.

Oh... and if you read the Kanshi thing, I know I'm not planning to do the whole traditional routine. I have to be honest with myself about my pain tolerance. I've been cut deeply there a few times before so I know I can stand to stab and drag... but wrapping my torso afterwards, standing up, walking, and talking with my intestines hacked to bits is almost certainty beyond me. I'd just embarrass myself and waste the effort. Besides, I'll be the third person since WWII and the only American to ever do it so the message will get across without making it 10x more painful.

Anon!moNoTOnous 17/03/31(Fri)05:59 No. 5368 ID: d0c032

Let me see if I got this straight, OP.
You want to drag someone else in your suicide with a cell-triggered explosive instead of using a dead man's switch.
You want someone to drag itself through the mud by acknowledging it knew what you were up to and didn't try to stop you, but rather helped you do it. And you want this person to face the cameras and explain whatever message you wanted to convey, instead of texting/socialnetworking/painting a fucking pastebin url on your back.

Death+Seeker 17/03/31(Fri)08:07 No. 5369 ID: 0c1a2b

2 issues, 2 different reasons, neither are deal breakers.

The spokesman is more significant. If I vie for a tech solution here, I trust the narrative to whoever picks it up and the efficacy of whatever auto-upload auto-distribute scheme I set up. I tell my story, perform the act, and hope the narrative goes in a productive direction after my death.

This is acceptable but not the best option. The best option is to have a story teller I trust to shape the narrative in real-time. To answer questions. If I'm painted as crazy (and I will be...), it's another steady and logical voice to reinforce the message.

I'm willing to do it without said spokesman. That alone in many states very likely gets said spokesman off for culpability; He or she will not contribute to my death because I was already resolved to do it and they will have no way to prevent it. They will almost certainty be arrested but probably not convicted unless they do something dumb.

As for my Kaishuku... that is much more personal. That person runs only the risk to their soul/mental state unless (again) they do something stupid I don't anticipate like come forward or tell their friends IRL. Again, I'm willing to do close to what you suggest and set up the (tiny, self-harming only) explosive on a dead mans switch on my knife.

I'd prefer not to do it that way for two reasons, however. One follows the basic idea of why a kaishuku is employed at all; To retain as much dignity as possible. His/her job is to end the spectacle as soon as my hand quivers, my expression starts to show pain, or I hesitate. That way the world only sees me unmanned for perhaps .2 of a second rather than the (say) 2 seconds it might take to decide for myself.

The other reason fits this board well. With a kaishuku, even one I've never met face to face, I won't be alone in my last act. In my last moment. I'm willing to do it alone... but there is something to be said for a fellow soldier offering me one last kindness on my way out.

Oh... and given my druthers, I'druther go out fighting ISIS so the focus here is on my less favored option. When Mr. Hendrix croons about being "Desperately in need of some strangers hand" I think first of an enemy rather than a countryman, and (I'm slightly ashamed to say) I'd rather bring myself a bit of vainglory than my government a dose of well needed rebuke if given the choice.

Anon!moNoTOnous 17/04/01(Sat)22:44 No. 5371 ID: 1a9107

So you're wiling to drag someone along your deranged scheme just so that you're not alone on the time of your death. My advice is to go along with your first idea and get KIA as soon as humanly possible.

Eeyore 17/04/06(Thu)21:28 No. 5374 ID: 5b6559

Option 1 seems commendable, but you have to keep it mind that the US Gov't has a historically proven tendency to support whichever proxy party it currently deems profitable/convenient to side with. So, lets say that you want to join the Lions of Rojava and help the Kurds fight for independence. Sounds great, right? Well, no, because the US deems the PKK, YPG and YPJ to be terrorist organizations. Now, believe it or not, but realistically, this was your only way of joining the fight against ISIS in Iraq/Syria as a mercenary. Additionally, no PMC is going to hire you because of your medical history.

Option 2 sounds like some Yukio Mishima kind of deal, but in today's world of information highways you'd be lucky to hit the frontpage of a local newspaper.

The only thing I can tell you, and a thing that you should seriously ponder upon, is this: the US Gov't is NOT the American people. The US Gov't is not the hard-working populace that made your country into the superpower it is today. Americans are resilient, intelligent and resourceful, your government is power-hungry, corrupt and hateful.

I'm not saying that you made a mistake joining the Army, but at this point nobody is your master but yourself.

Eeyore 17/04/11(Tue)06:30 No. 5381 ID: 9c4b9c

although ritual disembowelment on the steps of a federal building sounds pretty cool, maybe walk or crawl or take a bus to a doctor who can help with your multifaceted medical issue and perhaps someone with high rate or rank to help navigate Veterans Administration
you were in the war man, suicide kills more guys than bombs and dissentary put together, next time show them your bullet wounds.

Eeyore 17/04/26(Wed)11:23 No. 5388 ID: c93ab8

Definitely option 2. The government has fucked you over enough, I honestly feel that is an amazing statement to make though I cannot volunteer for either position

Eeyore 17/05/21(Sun)01:31 No. 5410 ID: a52bda

You do have another option that requires more balls than either of your plans and that's not using other people to commit suicide, fight harder for what this shitbag government owes you due to your sacrifices, and live this life to its fullest possible extent. My uncle was in Vietnam and did just that. He never let up on his SS claims and wore those fuckers down because, they way he saw it, that was his money and they were not going to tire him out fighting for it. Don't give up. If it takes ten years, kick their scheming asses the whole way.

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