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/rnb/ - Rage and Baww
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Teenage Girl 15/07/08(Wed)06:01 No. 20658 ID: 2720e7 [Reply]

File 143632808642.png - (304.88KB , 786x454 , led.png )

Fuck I don't understand it, I don't understand anything nothing feels fucking real anymore I can't even articulate my thoughts anymore on what any of my issues are. I don't get it.

Was anything real to begin with because I don't even fucking know, everywhere I see pattens I don't really exists or not and don't call me crazy I'm not crazy I know what crazy is because I know you're thinking it.

I don't really want to even make this thread, this is stupid.

Your stupid and I'm fine.

16 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/12/28(Mon)07:27 No. 20840 ID: 690149

Indeed, we should all learn from Phil Hartman.

But some people just won't accept that the stove is hot until they're dead.

Teenage Girl 15/12/30(Wed)08:10 No. 20841 ID: 05d8b3

File 14514594451.jpg - (874.43KB , 600x750 , 40122141_p97.jpg )

I'm not really crazy or maybe I was when I made this non-sense posting, I was in and out of LSD and other drugs while writing this shit up and was also under a lot of stress.

Uh, this can be all disregarded now...

Teenage Girl 16/01/02(Sat)15:48 No. 20843 ID: 561aa8

>everywhere I see pattens


Teenage Girl 15/09/15(Tue)19:03 No. 20739 ID: 27b3e7 [Reply]

File 144233662249.jpg - (548.17KB , 1920x1080 , 1442327758420-1415482778.jpg )

Every time I have made a list of priorites, things to do, etc--every single time in 31 years of my life--it is almost immediately and irrecoverably trumped. I have never completed even making a list--not even for just a single day's tasks--not even once.

Either an unforseeable problem that must be handled immediately and prevents other goals from being achieved will occur just after or while making the list, or someone will drop on me an obligation that I never agreed to but am nonetheless bound to do--immediately--because of our relationship (most often work, sometimes goverment officers--I gave up on ever having a chance to do things for family and friends no matter what they expect), or an already long delayed and thus long forgotten task will reassert itself in the form of some personal or professional disaster.

My life has been like this as long as I can remember. It is different from other people's suffering; no one I've ever met has this much trouble with everything, all the time. People often ask me why I look so exhausted and nervous--it is because I've developed an extreme paranoia about setting even the smallest goals.

Basically I live each hour of each day finding out what I missed in the last hour, or what I failed to do the previous day, or what sort of broken thing will prevent me from getting any of several things done until it is fixed, or what someone else thinks I have a legal, professional, or personal obligation to do--every hour of every day.

Once in a while I find myself alone and unoccupied. I try so hard to think of what I should be doing, to make a list of the many things that I should be doing at that moment, but more and more my mind just goes blank. Setting priorities has become that traumatic for me: I'm so afraid of knowing about all the things I already failed that I can't even imagine what they might be. By the time I do think of something I have to do, something else will already be blocking it.

How do I get out of this endless cycle of failure? It makes me suicidally depressed. It has cost me my family, friends, even jobs. I want to live like other people do: setting priorities based on a reasonable schedule and achieving most of them in an order that makes sense, not having to drop everything because their front door broke off it's hinges and their apartment can't be secured (for example). I don't want to answer another angry phone call from someone who has been waiting for me to do something I never even heard about, or telling me to do something that has nothing to do with me immediately because it has to be done right now and I am the only person (in town) who can do it. I can't take setting a goal for the month only to see it pushed off until the next year and then never again.

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Teenage Girl 15/11/03(Tue)05:29 No. 20811 ID: de7cff

idle time....

idle time now....

morning work off, night work also potentially off.

what do...?

Teenage Girl 15/11/19(Thu)17:15 No. 20821 ID: e47d4e

In my to-do bankruptcy, I've recently been pursuing a new strategy. I do anything, with no regard for priority, as soon as I notice it needs being done--until I actually drop from the exhaustion. It hasn't reduced the number of things I have to do each day, nor has it given me any hope that a day will come when I can live at my own pace, but it's better emotionally than wondering what I should be doing all the time. Unfortunately this does mean overlapping tasks can conflict, and that unnoticed tasks will be put off indefinitely, but that's no change at all.

Teenage Girl 15/12/25(Fri)07:06 No. 20836 ID: 0e1f6c

Lists are for faggots, stop making them and just do shit.

Teenage Girl 14/02/22(Sat)17:10 No. 19104 ID: af0e52 [Reply]

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How do you cope with the fact that you aren't actually smarter than anyone? I'm trying to come to terms with that in here, and it's getting pretty tough.
Being intelligent used to be the one thing I was good at, but now I don't feel like I any longer am at all. At least, not more than the regular. So I feel like I'm literally good for nothing, and I'm finding it hard to live with that idea.
So, what do you do when you realize that you're just average at the things you considered they distinguished you?

41 posts and 6 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/12/03(Thu)06:00 No. 20823 ID: 35a9db

I am still the dumbest and i still think im the fucking shit. Bullshitting is a good time and i have a fucking deploma for it

Teenage Girl 15/12/17(Thu)06:14 No. 20829 ID: 5a53ee

You're a lawyer?

Or are you a stand-up philosopher?

Teenage Girl 15/12/17(Thu)21:19 No. 20830 ID: 1d85e9

He might have an English degree.

I have an English degree.

Teenage Girl 15/06/28(Sun)14:37 No. 20646 ID: 54d556 [Reply]

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I've reached to a point in my life in which I finally discovered that there is no love, at least for me. Everytime I get to know a female, I take great interest in her for a short while, until routine kicks in and then I just start looking for something else.

No matter how hard I try and focus on the person I want to be with, I eventually grow tired of her. I've already gone through 4 serious relationships and, while telling myself "this is the one" during most of the time, in the end my sad reality hits me in the face every single time.

In conclusion to this, questions are starting to sprout from my brain: is love accepting that you are not going to feel the same way towards your partner, but knowing you want to be with him/her? does love evolve into some sort of friendship after years? is love a plain and simple lie?

Does love exist? Have you found it, /rnb/?

9 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/11/12(Thu)22:12 No. 20816 ID: 9a1d24

>polyamory and open relationships are
Exactly the same thing. Women being loose and men being pathetic; no less and no more.

>married couples I've done threesomes with
Consist of a slut and a kuckold: a woman who wants to get fucked by more men and a man who can't do anything about having his woman fucked by other men or actually approves of it.

Care to spar a little more? I very much enjoy crushing your idiotic ideas.

Teenage Girl 15/12/12(Sat)06:33 No. 20825 ID: 057ca0

Yes love exists. HIS love: the Creator's. Love is the aspiration to Unity. It is an universal aspiration. A pull. A way all Creation goes through. Unity is the goal and the underlying reality.

That being said, it manifests differently in different beings. Men and women are different; women are more self centered. Romantic love is thus a male abstraction. Women get served or want to be. Men want to serve. Guess whose love is beautiful?


Teenage Girl 15/12/13(Sun)14:09 No. 20827 ID: 1f0a18

I would like to personally thank the mod who banned >>20825

A religious zealot has been banned; justice has been done. I should leave it at that, but I feel like being more explicit (probably because I am drinking hot tea with whiskey).

>HIS love: the Creator's.
The only reason you associate a masculinity with the divine creator you belive in is millennia of mistranslation. Within your own ascribed theology--which originates with the pantheon of the city of Ur--you should be informed that the Elohim were originally considered group, neither one specific entity nor one specific gender, and that the "God" you worship is an amalgamation of several of the more dominant gods of that pantheon, primarily El and Baal.

>Unity is the goal
It may shock you that I agree, but not on the terms you specify. Mankind will one day unite, but not absolutely not under a common theology and absolutely not because we were pre-programmed to do so by some divine dude.

>women are more self centered. Romantic love is thus a male abstraction. Women get served or want to be. Men want to serve.
I don't think any statistical analysis will support these statements. Any level of research will disprove them.

Teenage Girl 15/10/01(Thu)18:00 No. 20780 ID: 03fab4 [Reply]

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I learned quickly that life isn't fair. I learned quickly nobody really deserves anything. I learned quickly that ideals are simply ideals and the reality is always more likely to run a displeasing course, because the odds the ideals are met outside of all the other possibilities is slim.

These are just really easy concepts.

Despite this, I lived willingly in a naive state for so many years... I knew how it worked, and yet I did not want to believe it. Years and years trudging through utter bullshit, with this foolish notion clouding up what I really knew was true: that if I just sat it out and hoped it changed, it just would. Even better, I started to later convince myself that I would rather play out the last few strings of my rope and let myself rot away. Why kill myself when I can selfishly live the last few months or years doing nothing? Taking what I can while it is still feasible? I don't care anymore if it is frowned upon. I just want to be selfish.

Strangely, I never seriously wanted to kill myself despite my depressive thoughts. I never really wanted my happiness to end. Sad how I came to that conclusion back then. I had promised myself at a point that the next time I was happy, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die happy. I didn't want to take the chance death would meet with me one of the thousands of days I spend miserable. Why would I want to die miserable? So that day came after a few months passed. I finally felt okay for one whole day. I remembered my promise, too. I sat in my parents' basement with a fresh straight edge and knew I could finally feel release from this limbo. But I didn't.

I found myself crying and laughing. How could I hesitate? It was perfect. I would finally die and I was anticipating complete relief. I could feel tinges of relief just feeling "it is done, I can finally be done" but here I was hesitating. I felt like it was all wrong, too. I didn't want to die. I never wanted to die. I just wanted to be okay and no longer stuck in life's limbo.

How cowardly and slovenly I have been.

I know nothing will change if I do not make it happen. I just do not think I can, or quite simply, I will not. Something in me refuses and tells me real change is impossible. The effort I put into change in the past always somehow ended up in the same rut I am in now. I need a complete change.

I am thinking of saving up money next job I get, and then just leaving everything. I'll take what I want and die like the slime I am probably within mere months due to certain acts, but I'll know I didn't rot in place for decades regretting ever doing anything or making an impact on the things I have decided to put care into.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Teenage Girl 15/10/01(Thu)20:01 No. 20782 ID: 7fd13b

File 144372251422.jpg - (5.66KB , 180x176 , tuco.jpg )

Teenage Girl 15/10/05(Mon)01:27 No. 20784 ID: 1d9efc

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I want to help you, OP, I really do.

But I can't finish reading your post because of that motherfucking gif you posted with it.

Everyone who posts gifs on an imageboard deserves to die. That's the absolute truth.

Teenage Girl 15/10/06(Tue)10:05 No. 20788 ID: f4af1f

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Slumber Teenage Girl 15/07/01(Wed)05:06 No. 20650 ID: 2506d6 [Reply]

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I feel like going to sleep for a very long time. Who wants to join me?

6 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/07/11(Sat)00:22 No. 20666 ID: 8273f1

That headache is dehydration, mostly.

Drinking plenty of water before going to bed prevents that and also motivates you to wake up earlier because you have to get up and take a piss.

Teenage Girl 15/07/13(Mon)09:18 No. 20667 ID: 5e1030

But what if you get up, take a piss, then drink some more liquid and go back to sleep? Rinse, wash, repeat.

You'll still wake up with a headache.

Teenage Girl 15/07/18(Sat)05:31 No. 20669 ID: 9083ba

File 143719030541.jpg - (117.52KB , 604x657 , 151.jpg )

Drink your piss. You don't have to get out of bed and you won't wake up with a headache. Win win...

This fucking energy Teenage Girl 15/06/19(Fri)07:41 No. 20640 ID: ee9add [Reply]

File 143469250540.jpg - (40.10KB , 440x332 , 0.jpg )

I have so much damn energy but when its time to do something? NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Fucking energy HOW DOES IT WORK?

1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/06/22(Mon)07:07 No. 20643 ID: ebfaef

airwolfing rainbows!

Teenage Girl 15/06/26(Fri)01:50 No. 20644 ID: 7fd13b

magnets...you know they be lyin

Teenage Girl 15/06/26(Fri)19:15 No. 20645 ID: 10d6c2

I always plan ahead. That way I don't have to do anything right now.

Teenage Girl 15/06/18(Thu)08:52 No. 20638 ID: d3918b [Reply]

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This was originally written as a response to >>/b/741887 and >>/b/741890 but I figured that it would be better to post here than to shit up the other thread.

All this talk of incest just makes me sad that I didn't have any siblings. Even if my purely hypothetical sister didn't put out one of her friends might have, assuming that she had a chance of turning out slightly less bitterly antisocial than I did.

Of course it's easier to see in hindsight that virginity wasn't the real problem but merely a symptom of not having a proper social life. Of course getting my cock mongled would have been great, but underlying that is having people in my life who would be willing to mongle my cock.

It's easy to tell myself that I can't change the past and that it would be more productive to focus on the present and future which I can change. It's easy to tell myself that, but that doesn't stop the thoughts from reoccurring.

Teenage Girl 15/06/19(Fri)10:14 No. 20641 ID: 2720e7

As someone with two siblings (one older brother and one younger sister) I could never really understand those type of feelings. What I can say is that being a middle child is hell as I always got the short end of everything. But then again I had really shitty parents so I digress on that bit.

>It's easy to tell myself that I can't change the past and that it would be more productive to focus on the present and future which I can change. It's easy to tell myself that, but that doesn't stop the thoughts from reoccurring.
Sometimes I think that and wish I was an only child.

Teenage Girl 15/03/28(Sat)11:43 No. 20454 ID: c5c1a5 [Reply]

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I'm actually sick to fucking death of the current generation of artists.

There's no drive to find meaning, there's no effort into establishing truths, it's nothing but protests against Old World thought (without actually trying to forge a new identity) and blatant attempts at shocking the viewer.

I'm tired /rnb/ I no longer consider myself an artist since I will not associate myself with a group who defines art as having a chicken attached to your dick.

I'm also probably not allowed to because I have a dick and it happens to be white. Which means I'm somehow magically privileged.

14 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/06/08(Mon)01:31 No. 20632 ID: 2793d2

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Knowing Steven Cohen, I wouldn't be surprised if what you say is true

Teenage Girl 15/06/15(Mon)09:28 No. 20634 ID: d9b2c9

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Count on the French to draw a line between art and vandalism.

(until one of them vandalizes the line)

Teenage Girl 15/06/15(Mon)09:32 No. 20635 ID: d9b2c9

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His ironically casual look.

it was not supposed to end like this Teenage Girl 14/12/22(Mon)19:55 No. 20284 ID: f19be6 [Reply]

File 141927454425.gif - (51.06KB , 500x376 , 1374792730743.gif )

I'm living at my friend's house after my brilliant family kicked me out for "unproductivity," read: not being a soft target when my relatives got wasted or had explosive episodes. I'm lucky to have my friend's place to stay at, except it seems to mean nothing now all thanks to my newly developed panic disorder.

Literally everything gives me a panic attack. I was watching a scary movie last night, and boom panic attack. I went to a job orientation (that's after you're hired), and boom panic attack followed by being fired. This is really excellent, especially since I am taking all the steps to get better. I go out once a day to mix with people, but it makes very little difference since they of course do not talk to me.

This happened after I lost my insurance and my prescription medication which they should not have been prescribing me, because it says on the label not to prescribe it that long. However the withdrawal period is over and this is just pure me, anxiety ridden and unable to accomplish anything.

Hopefully public health insurance has mercy on my and helps me, whenever it finally goes through. Maybe a treatment center will know which box to throw me in if I end up snapping.

Then again, who really cares? I'm not even the same person I was at the start of this, and I went from wondering if people would cry at my funeral to wondering if I would be a John Doe. Of course the idea of dying is likely my anxiety, but it sucks to have friends, family, and partners you loved who can no longer give a steaming fuck about you.

9 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
Teenage Girl 15/05/15(Fri)11:50 No. 20616 ID: 3cf736


See? You are a jerk. QED.

Roger 15/05/30(Sat)03:00 No. 20626 ID: 6753bd

I have confrontational panic attacks. They have progressively become worse. I have found no assistance in the last 10 years. I will not leave my apt unless really necessary. I am behind on 1. Income Tax 2. wife's green card 3. Food stamp application 4. Maintenance complaints with apartment. 5. Wife's Soc Security. I try to get a little done each day, but not very successfully.

Teenage Girl 15/05/31(Sun)05:43 No. 20627 ID: 5fd72a

>wife's green card
>Wife's Soc Security

Maybe you just want your wife to leave the country.

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