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it was not supposed to end like this Teenage Girl 14/12/22(Mon)19:55 No. 20284 ID: f19be6

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I'm living at my friend's house after my brilliant family kicked me out for "unproductivity," read: not being a soft target when my relatives got wasted or had explosive episodes. I'm lucky to have my friend's place to stay at, except it seems to mean nothing now all thanks to my newly developed panic disorder.

Literally everything gives me a panic attack. I was watching a scary movie last night, and boom panic attack. I went to a job orientation (that's after you're hired), and boom panic attack followed by being fired. This is really excellent, especially since I am taking all the steps to get better. I go out once a day to mix with people, but it makes very little difference since they of course do not talk to me.

This happened after I lost my insurance and my prescription medication which they should not have been prescribing me, because it says on the label not to prescribe it that long. However the withdrawal period is over and this is just pure me, anxiety ridden and unable to accomplish anything.

Hopefully public health insurance has mercy on my and helps me, whenever it finally goes through. Maybe a treatment center will know which box to throw me in if I end up snapping.

Then again, who really cares? I'm not even the same person I was at the start of this, and I went from wondering if people would cry at my funeral to wondering if I would be a John Doe. Of course the idea of dying is likely my anxiety, but it sucks to have friends, family, and partners you loved who can no longer give a steaming fuck about you.

Teenage Girl 14/12/23(Tue)02:42 No. 20288 ID: 46e37e

>I'm not even the same person I was at the start of this
Life's a journey, the scenery changes and so do you as you move through it. You want me be a vegetable? An hero has the answer.

Well done, you're dealing with your shit like an adult. Do you want a fucking cookie for it?

Teenage Girl 14/12/23(Tue)03:56 No. 20289 ID: f19be6

I want to be a whole adult, not just a scared little adult with no money. Every time I try to go out and do something for myself, my anxiety kills it.

Teenage Girl 14/12/23(Tue)18:08 No. 20290 ID: 1b02b6

OP, you could have it worse. I'm getting tested for mild amoebic dysentery and in order to do so I have to collect 3 teaspoons of my stool over the course of three days. I have to take a shit, but I really don't feel like playing with my shit right now. Can't get any worse than that.

Teenage Girl 14/12/24(Wed)02:09 No. 20291 ID: f19be6

Seems like apples to oranges, but I hope you feel better soon. I assume that you can't work until it gets better?

There are solutions to my situation I'm sure. I just need treatment to stick so I can hold my shit together.

Teenage Girl 15/01/07(Wed)20:41 No. 20324 ID: fc8d61

you've heard this before im sure, but youve just got to keep at it. i still feel like killing myself now and then too but i just got a new job as a truck driver and traveling around really makes me happy
just gotta find what makes you happy.

Teenage Girl 15/01/12(Mon)03:32 No. 20333 ID: 2f260d

Okay, first of all OP, get over yourself. What your family meant by "unproductivity" was that you were a NEET and a leech and probably didn't do fucking shit around the house except surf the 'net and play video games. Why do I know this? Because I lived like that for about five years and after it ended I started getting panic attacks.

I got over it, and you can, too. I could tell you HOW I did it and maybe help you out, but I don't really feel like it. You strike me as a jerk. Sorry.

Teenage Girl 15/01/20(Tue)11:29 No. 20350 ID: a51853

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Don't take this advice as sage:
I was reading 'Stumbling on Happiness', a book on what happiness means by a prominent psychology professor.
It's an interesting read, and in the beginning he goes through human brain function. Because we possess a frontal lobe we have the ability to plan and think about our futures. Anxiety disorders also originate here and are tied to a fear of the future.
When deeply psychotic or anxious patients were lobotomized - destroying the brain's link to the frontal lobe - the treatment was successful in that it cured their mental problems, but at the cost of 'tomorrow'; they couldn't even imagine what they were going to do tomorrow, as if the world didn't exist outside of the present moment they were experiencing.

My idea is you do your best to focus on this instant. Forget about the things that rile you up and focus on a single task you want to accomplish. Break everything down, and don't worry about the implications for future obligations. There are probably psychologists that can recommend better strategies.
I think making a list ahead of time will help, and following them step by step like the Memento guy.

It also doesn't help you were a NEET, you might've acclimatized to a life of predictable challenges. Everyone I know has a saying relating to a lack of human interaction leading to peculiarities, so take heart and do your best.

Teenage Girl 15/02/12(Thu)16:51 No. 20405 ID: adb931


Teenage Girl 15/05/13(Wed)00:17 No. 20615 ID: 811050

That's actually not what happened. Congrats on being worthless for five years, congrats on being worthless in this thread, and congrats on projecting like a motherfucker. I highly doubt you can say a helpful thing, being so wrapped up in yourself.

Yeah, man. I haven't quit yet. Thanks.

I got my insurance on again. Wow, this board crawls. I'm feeling slightly better. Instead of not thinking about future outcomes, I try to find ways to accept whatever they might be. Thanks for your thoughts.

Teenage Girl 15/05/15(Fri)11:50 No. 20616 ID: 3cf736


See? You are a jerk. QED.

Roger 15/05/30(Sat)03:00 No. 20626 ID: 6753bd

I have confrontational panic attacks. They have progressively become worse. I have found no assistance in the last 10 years. I will not leave my apt unless really necessary. I am behind on 1. Income Tax 2. wife's green card 3. Food stamp application 4. Maintenance complaints with apartment. 5. Wife's Soc Security. I try to get a little done each day, but not very successfully.

Teenage Girl 15/05/31(Sun)05:43 No. 20627 ID: 5fd72a

>wife's green card
>Wife's Soc Security

Maybe you just want your wife to leave the country.

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