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/v/ - The Vineyard
This board is dedicated to the fine art of sticking your penis into a nice wine. Rules:

1. Love your wine as you would love your woman.
2. Please, no trolling, just discussion of some of the finer things in life.
3. Cheese is an acceptable topic of discussion. After all, what goes with wine if not cheese?
4. No champagne.

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Savvy 11/11/12(Sat)09:46 No. 2079 [Reply]

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The scrotal region, perineum and penis are the most active uptake zone on the human body. Anything will be absorbed and anything vaugely lipdish will have a more rapid uptake.


The tannin polymers rapidly block the osmotic receptors on the skin. You might not actually get drunk.

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Wine Connoisseur 12/03/28(Wed)22:59 No. 2151

You are a philistine sir. The gentleman was simply informing those of lesser intellect then himself the nature of, and reason behind, this board. I believe it is you who should, as you put it, "Lurk More".

Wine Connoisseur 12/05/01(Tue)20:45 No. 2159

I am academically involved into sylviculture but I'm not a true wine connoisseur since I lack both sophistication and experience on given subject. Oak and Hazelnut woods have suppossedly the highest content of tannins but I'm not sure if the content transmitted into the wine through the barrels is sufficient to have any effect other than a discreet tangy aroma and a minor contribution to vascular health after years of wine consumption.

Wine Connoisseur 12/05/22(Tue)08:49 No. 2173

What about a vino colonic? Compared to skin of the peritoneum the rectal and sigmoid mucosae are far more permeable to alcohol, dangerously so if you're not careful. And yet they are significantly good at keeping out the toxins to the point where you can actually hydrate in a survival situation by shooting stagnant water. Of course if all you're after is a buzz there's no need to shoot wine up your butt. Any moderately strong and cheap distillation will do.

SHOW ME YOUR PRIDE !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/10(Thu)22:42 No. 2163 [Reply]

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i am now god of the vineyard

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bring a friend !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/11(Fri)08:07 No. 2168

no one likes to spend /v/day alone, so find yourself a /v/day buddy and spread the love. This is predominantly a gentleman's board, however you may bring along your significant other, and YES, if you don't have a significant other, you may bring your waifu.

Party favours !/v/Kinga8Y!!p5BQRmAmR4 12/05/11(Fri)08:19 No. 2169

for those classy enough to participate i have here for your pleasure, some aesthetics that just may enhance your experience.

Virtual Fireplace: for those of you who switched the ol place out for a digital display.

endless classy tunes loop: for those of you who enjoy some good old fashion jaz

Rain: for those of you, like me, who love a good rain storm during the ol dippity dappity. (best if 5.1 surround sound)

more tunes: because one track just isn't enough.

Wine Connoisseur 12/05/17(Thu)01:50 No. 2171

whew, sorry i wasn't around for /v/ day.
i was arrested for indecent exposure at olive garden

Wine Connoisseur 12/05/05(Sat)19:14 No. 2162 [Reply]

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i gave this a try last night and was just blown away, just beyond description other than to say that it will be a while before i go back to dipping in wine

Awaiting Moderation 7chan Server !BEEPBOOP ## System ## 12/05/05(Sat)03:20 No. 2161 [Reply]

This post has been flagged for administrative review.

How to Host a Wine Dipping Wine Connoisseur 11/02/07(Mon)04:03 No. 1529 [Reply]

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Gentlemen of /v/,

Allow me to share the finer details of a "Wine Dipping Party"

1. The Guest List: Only invite gentlemen whom share your taste for the finer wines. If they insist on dipping champagne tell them to kindly exit your presence.

2. To make your event a bit more challenging, offer a “blind dipping” experience. In this case, you still provide your guests with their individual tasting cards. However, you pour each wine without identifying the label (cover bottles with foil or a brown bag and mark with a number prior to serving), allowing them to incorporate all of their senses to identify the respective wines based on the labels’ descriptions. The guest that is able to identify the most wines correctly wins a prized bottle of wine or perhaps a book on the art of wine dipping.

3. Decorations for a wine tasting party can range from a white table cloth and candles to Old World, Tuscan faux paintings and vintage bottles scattered throughout your “dipping room.” In either case, remember to keep the atmosphere light and engaging. You may consider starting the evening with a bit of wine trivia, just to get the conversation rolling.

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Wine Connoisseur 11/02/08(Tue)16:12 No. 1534

Would you mind telling me what the proper ettiquette is at a dipping party as far as flaccidness/erectness when dipping?

Wine Connoisseur 11/02/08(Tue)22:58 No. 1535

Generally one enters flaccid, and exits flaccid. What happens in between is between a man and his wine and any honourable guest would appreciate that.

Wine Connoisseur 12/04/13(Fri)06:19 No. 2156

Is it bad manners to taste a wine that you have dipped in? I'd for my guests to consider me barbaric for sampling a wine with my tongue that Id have previously placed my member into it...

Wine Connoisseur 11/07/11(Mon)22:13 No. 1852 [Reply]

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Hey /v/, Ausfag here.

I'm not the biggest connoisseur of wine, but i've managed to sample all the way from cheap red french piss all the way up to extremely expensive red french piss - and while the more highly priced wine is usually better, it isn't really any guarantee.

In Ausfailia we have cleanskins wine... wine without a label, traditionally made from mixtures of whatever was left over from the labeled wine bottling. And the very best wine I have ever drunk in my life was 2 bottles of cleanskin from some microwinery that has since probably closed down in the Great Ausfailian Wine Crisis.

Have you guys had any experiences like that, where you found amazing wine where you just didn't expect it?

1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 11/07/12(Tue)03:48 No. 1854

Perhaps you are unaware of the unique cultural mores of the colonies.

Wine Connoisseur 11/08/10(Wed)18:25 No. 2019

I believe that in some or the more remote of the colonies there has sprung up all manner of oddities in etiquette. Why, just the other day I did partake in conversation with an old and rather well-traveled acquaintance. He told tales of many such things as would be considered most unusual here, but overseas are found to be the norm. One such tale was of a rather intimate occasion with a woman from, as they say, "Down-Under". Said intimate occasion consisted, among other things, of the woman using her mouth as a chalice for which the esteemed gentleman may use... Most unusual...

In summary, there are many curious practices commonplace overseas at which we may balk or at least find strange to our usual accepted ways, of which drinking a small sample of vintage may indeed be one.

Wine Connoisseur 12/03/29(Thu)14:34 No. 2152

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>this board is for gentleman

please go home sir, you have had too much.

Wine Connoisseur 12/03/23(Fri)21:16 No. 2147 [Reply]

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Good evening gentlemen,
my curiosity lead me to the fine art of dipping.
Sadly enough my budget is pretty small,
so I had to buy a pretty cheap wine.
But I wanted to ask you gentlemen, on how I should have my first time.
Should the wine be cold or warm?
Does the glass really matter?
Thank you

Yourgay!!OxAzMwZTMv 12/03/26(Mon)00:04 No. 2149

Kind sir, the general rule of thumb woulld be room temp for your reds and slightly chilled for your whites. Then gently slide your penis in as if making love to a beautiful woman. And I find myself usiing a number of different glasses that are to my liking as long as I am not entertaining.

Wine Connoisseur 12/03/26(Mon)02:13 No. 2150

Thank you, nice sir.
It was a surprisingly pleasant experience that shall change my life from now on.

lots of Dog hairs Wine Connoisseur 12/03/12(Mon)01:24 No. 2145 [Reply]

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hi some furry friends here that will enjoy to run in the vinyards of france this summer
pic related


Wine Connoisseur 12/01/14(Sat)08:41 No. 2120 [Reply]

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Fuck the police.
Imma be dipping my dick into this Champagne tonight, and you motherfuckers can't do a thing to stop me.
Fuck you and your prohibition on Champagne. I don't need the man and his rules.


1 post omitted. Click Reply to view.
Wine Connoisseur 12/02/09(Thu)13:19 No. 2131

I wonder if our benevolent Moderator or Administrator deliberately chose to use the word "LOSE" over "LOOSE", perhaps aware of the humorous double meaning of their chosen word.

Wine Connoisseur 12/02/10(Fri)18:29 No. 2133

Truly I believe in this circumstance that either word is appropriate.

anonymous 12/02/17(Fri)01:52 No. 2134

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a) No champagne.
b) Don't fuck the police. Seduce them. Pour them a bottle of 2009 Otago Pinot Noir and make love to them. Gently.

The Youth Of Today Wine Connoisseur 12/01/16(Mon)17:22 No. 2123 [Reply]

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I have been perusing this fine board and have noticed a disturbing confounding of the arts of enjoying cheese.

It might be due to my upbringing, being as it was in the colonies of the southern ocean, that I have not encountered this new ... I shall have to call it a fad for that's what it is, of dipping into the cheese.

Some gentlemen, those that tend to congregate in the darkest and smokiest of panelled chans, even mention a bizzarre and frankly off-putting practise of *eating* the cheese.

Back where I'm from, every man of standing is still enjoying stuffing a Colby, Brie, Gouda or even a Mature Cheddar into their rectum and then enjoying a fine dip into a Sav, (or maybe a Merlot for the adventuring set.)

We might not be up to date on the very latest "fashion" but I can tell you that the traditions haven't been abandoned due to distance, nor any tardiness of communication, nor slighting of honor. We men of the empire haven't once grown "bored" of our companions - for we choose them wisely, with utmost care and patience, so that we may then stuff them slowly or quickly and dip them deeply or gently, and never a day passes that we come to regret our choice and have our desires wander into strange barbarisms.

I hereby ask all the good men present today to challenge their peers to cast their minds back to the last time they really enjoyed a good stuffing and see if perhaps with more commitment to the art of selection, they might enjoy such times til the end of their days.

I leave you with these thoughts for I have regailed at length, and no doubt those gentlemen amongst us who still know the joys of the original arts are most likely yearning for a quick dip, and a stuff, right now.

Enjoy, gentlemen.
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savvy 12/02/07(Tue)03:48 No. 2128

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Kiwi or Aussie?

anonymous 12/02/08(Wed)11:22 No. 2130

Gouda is for retards. Edam FTW

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