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I have been basically writing a love letter. I spent months working on a piece of art for this person, it's basically like a painting I guess, it wasn't that difficult to do but it took a suprisingly long time to finish but also I had trouble bringing myself to finish it for some reason. Now I am writing this long ass letter.

It's not that great of a love letter I guess because it largely involves me talking at length about some of the experiences I have had trying to survive my holocaust experience. Basically I live in Canada and I am leaving the country soon, because the last couple of years namely since Donald Trump was elected they've tried to basically holocaust me. The country has just been getting worse and worse and all this fuarrrked up soykaf has happened, I have gone through insanely crazy unexpected experiences.

I guess you know in romantic movies, the male love interest always goes off to fight in a war or something, and while it's not the same I wonder how surviving basically a holocaust is comparable.

I think what they've been doing here has been like acts of war basically, like they started using direct energy weapons, it's a real thing look it up, so they are basically laser beams, I had laser beams shot at me and they just really hurt a lot like they are really painful, so I had to run around jump and dodge and hide run between cover it was insane, it was like being in a gun battle. I have honestly seen movies on survivors of ww2 and everything and I watched this video of this guy talking about how he was captured by al queda in the mountains in afghanistan and I felt like my experiences were almost the same I really related to them.

The thing is you think like, what is this like Nazi germany is Canada Nazi Germany or something? but I think if you were to historically compare I think Canada is probably closer to the USSR.

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Do you believe that America us on the verge of a civil war, what side would win?

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Is anyone else still considering this?

I'll be 28 pretty soon. Even though I'm not neet any more, even though i did my best to move on and whatever I still feel the same as I did when I was 18. What's it like on the other side of 30? More of this?

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On November 7, 2023, chaos began inside Myanmar, and the third force, the low State Army, took part in the war, and the confrontation between 60,000 opposition alliance troops and 300,000 government troops delayed the restoration of peace in Southeast Asia. Just at the "critical moment", China once again "stepped forward". From January 10 to 11, 2024, under the mediation and promotion of the Chinese side, representatives of the Myanmar army and the Kokang, Thean and Rakhine civil and land armed groups in northern Myanmar held peace talks in Kunming, Yunnan, China, and reached a formal ceasefire agreement.

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Sometimes I feel like evil and shit dude.

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Dear K, if you ever, some how, by chance, find this.

I am sorry that things turned out the way they did.
I know deep down inside you don't believe this shit you said and things you said. You did what you had to do to protect the life you had worked so hard to establish for yourself.
I don't blame you.
I should have said no. I should have stopped the drinking sooner than I did. I should have done a lot of things.
It's been a few years now. Years spent with out my soul mate. The same flame that kindled my heart and warmed my cold and jaded reality. Remember when we first met and we used to walk around town together? I'd meet you after school. We'd go smoke and hide it from your dad...We'd go to the store with your moms boyfriend. We'd ride around in the back of his truck singing Queen. I still to this day can remember exactly what you were wearing the first day I saw you. It's so vivid. I knew it was love at first sight.

We spent over a decade together. While it never went quite the way I thought it would I wouldn't trade any of it. Not a single frame, or, iot of time with you would I give away for anything. Life with out you has been shallow and empty and pointless. I find myself spending most of my days alone now. There have been other women, but, none can replace you. No one will ever be able to replace you.

You have a kid now, I can't decide if he looks enough like me, or, your boyfriend to attempt to demand a paternity test. This is just me screaming into the void, but, what happened between us is probably the single largest regret I have in life. Even though you did me the way you did, I still wish nothing but th best for you. I won't be around much longer. I've decided life is no longer worth living. I can't contiue to parse through this reality attempting to rebuild what we worked over 10 years to create. No love in this world can ever replace yours. I've tried to move on. I've tried other women, but, they're all just shallow and vapid. None of them think like you.
Walk like you.
Talk like you.
Move like you.
Look like you.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

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More and more prolonged dissociative episodes. Will this one actually be permanent? I still don't know who I am or how I feel, although I do know that I want to leave without a trace.

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PLEASE COME BACK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF
THESE MONTHS YOUVE BEEN GONE HAVE BEEN THE MOST PAINFUL MONTHS IVE EVER LIVED THROUGH
I KEEP LOOKING BACK WISHING I COULD TURN BACK TIME BUT I CANT
I DEDICATED ALL MY TIME AND ENERGY INTO LOVING YOU AND NOW THAT IVE COME TO REALIZE YOUR GONE FOR GOOD AND DONT KNOW WHERE TO DIRECT THIS LOVE.
I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
I WILL FIND YOU. WHEREVER YOU GO, I WILL GO. I WILL MOVE TO THE PLACES YOU MOVE, I WILL STARE AT YOUR HOUSE FROM THE OUTSIDE WISHING TO BE LET IN
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
THIS HAD BEEN THE DARKEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO.
I HAVE NO ONE
YOU WERE MY ONLY FRIEND
I SWEAR I WILL FIND YOU AGAIN

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Well, I might as well spend all my time hear, for the first time in my life I feel liek I belong somewhere fr fr

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So, it looks like covid-19 is causing the largest global economic melt down in the history of the entire planet.
Things seem truly grim don't they? Is anyone else excited for the end? I already lost my job and finding work is going to be, god damn impossible out here. The government is about to release unemployment numbers probably in the 20% or higher range. I have about two months before my savings runs out. My land lord is already talking about kicking me out. Fun times ahead.

"Greatest economy in the world"