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>>827171
Felt this way for all of my 46 years on this planet. I felt guilty for not crying when my grandmother died when I was 7, and that was when I first realized that I generally don't give a airwolf about people or most things in general.
Not an emotional detachment, I do feel stuff. Like you said with music, music is more important to me than family.
The older I got, the more I felt I was always looking for something, but didn't know what it was.
I discovered amphetamine when I was 17 and that was the first time I felt any sense of purpose.
I've used speed for almost 30 years in order to get on with 'normal' life. I can hold down a job as long as I don't run out of drugs, the only thing with speed is not sleeping much. I get maybe 10 hrs over 7 days average.
A doctor I spoke to at a bullshit drug rehab facility (I had to go after losing my job or they wouldn't pay benefits), said due the amount of amphetamine I'm taking without showing any outward signs of taking it, and that I only feel bothered about anything when I take speed, it sounds like I have ADHD.
That was pre-covid, and the facility was defunded during lockdown, and my ADHD referral was postponed indefinitely.
I have trouble concentrating, and apart from my drug buddies, really don't give a toss about people in general.
TL:DR Absolutely Caramel flavored amphetamine sulphate