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1st of may, I dropped 520ug worth of acid. Labor day has meaning to me personally, but not literally date wise, the day of the worker feels special to me in all kinds of ways.
Anyway. I dropped the 2 tabs around half past midnight or 1 AM or so. I was thinking of mainly, my aspirations, I guess, during the onset of the onset.
I felt excited and waited patiently, and after a jittery first hour, it kicked in nicely.. to say the least. It hit me relatively hard, as I was getting ready for a whole night of psychonautic fun.
First couple of hours were mainly schizo timespace where, I experienced and experimented onwards with my conciousness the beautiful psychoses the LSD in my brain brings. The set was me being jobless on worker's day,
reminiscent of my hard work dripping down the drain for the ruling caste like billions of other people, and I had chosen to celebrate this beautiful day with acid and on acid. That was mainly the schizo headspace I inhabited.
Unfortunately words are not enough to describe the speedy thoughtforms I partook in.
But it was nothing compared to what came after. Because I did something I ought not to do, and normally I wouldn't have but I guess I wanted the madness of it.
I had rolled a small joint, that was pretty much full of grass. A thicc small joint, as the kids say.
After this joint, everything became a thousand times more real. The air grew thick and my conception of things became wilder and wilder. The empty room hit my head like a brick, my consciousness was flowing with full undefined freedom.
And here is the part that defined the whole night for me, just as it had hit me. I can't recall for the life of me remember if I was writing something, or there was literally an ethereal pen in my hand,
so I cannot say if I was actually writing or not, or if it was a semi hallucination in the nick of time that I had lost awareness of. But there was this insanely magical quality to the act.
The acid was telling me something. It told me something, very different, that I needed to hear and understand.
I have this problem with myself that I literally never, ever, ever take things for granted. And it told me that's a little too much. It gave me a sense of comfort in things that I can never forget the meaning of.
I was not ever taking things for granted to the degree that I felt civilization could end tomorrow, or 5 minutes from now. A sort of sense of impending doom. And LSD told me it was not only unnecessary,
but also that I should... govern my consciousness, and through that, my reality, in a way. It really does make you feel empowered and I don't mean this the least bit in the megalomaniacal sense.
But as an aside from that, no joke, I literally felt like I was some sort of governing body. Like a.. high of 520ug dose of LSD curator of consciousness and the surreal, an... Altered Stateman, if you will.
LSD had given me this gift, through this hallucinatory writing that only took a fleeting moment, I was free from the impending doom, and was shown the way.
Essentially I had gotten a note from the universe saying, "do take things a little granted". If I were to describe the emotion the universe/civilization/higher consciousness was feeling about it,
it almost felt like a wistful "Don't worry". For the following hours all I ever thought about was based on what happened. It was a real journey into nothing and everything.